Should I Put My Baby Up for Adoption?
Placing a child for adoption is a very serious decision that can change the rest of your life as well as the life of your child.
Pros and Cons
Adoption leads to a complete relinquishing of parental rights. It offers no guarantee that the biological parents will be able to interact with their child in the future. Some parents find themselves in situations where they cannot provide for their child financially or emotionally, and adoption is the best option. When this occurs, adoption can lead to a better life for the child. As with all life decisions, adoption has pros and cons.
1. You want to give your child a chance at a happy life. This is perhaps one of the most common reasons for adoption. Adoption gives a pregnant woman’s child a loving, supportive family and all the opportunities she wants them to have.
2. You want to fulfill someone else’s dream of becoming a parent. When a woman is considering her unplanned pregnancy options, it is common to think of adoption in terms of “giving up.” Many women ask, “Why should I give my baby up for adoption?” But when you “give up” for adoption, you are not “giving up” anything. Instead, you are giving a gift; one that will forever change the lives of another family. Many hopeful parents are waiting for a prospective birth mother to pick them. As difficult as this may be, you may change someone’s life forever by letting them raise your baby.
3. You want to feel like you’ve done the right thing. While there is no “right” decision regarding your unplanned pregnancy, some women believe that carrying their baby to term and placing them with another family will give them a sense of purpose during this confusing time. For some women, adoption is a way to feel positive about their unplanned pregnancy, giving them a sense of fulfillment and pride. Remember, however, the only “right” unplanned pregnancy option is the one that is right for you. Adoption is the “better” choice only if you think you will feel better about this choice than you would about any other.
4. You worry that you will regret another decision. Generally, if you have reservations about which choice to make, there may be a better choice for you. Still, if you think you may eventually regret your choice, that may be a big enough reason to decide on another path.
5. You have religious beliefs. If you have firm religious values, those could be reason enough to choose adoption over other options.
6. Adoption answers a birth mother’s “what ifs.” Open adoption allows you to see your child grow up and know who they end up being. One of the most significant advantages of adoption is the chance to know your child and watch them grow up.
7. Adoption costs nothing to prospective birth mothers. Another reason that pregnant women consider adoption is because it’s the unplanned pregnancy option that’s completely free.
8. Prospective birth mothers can get financial help during pregnancy and adoption. There are often other financial benefits of adoption. For women who have fallen on hard financial times during their pregnancy, adoption can provide them with additional financial assistance during the time they are pregnant. By placing a child for adoption, you may receive living expenses for things like rent, groceries, gas, and more.
9. You can choose adoption at any point in your pregnancy. Deciding which unplanned pregnancy option is best for you and your baby can be difficult, so you don’t want to rush into one before you’re sure it’s right for you. Adoption can be a decision you make at any time in your pregnancy. For example, suppose you need more time to decide whether to parent your child. In that case, you might want to consider adoption, as you can place your baby for adoption even after they’re born.
10. You can have continued contact with your baby through open adoption. It may reassure you that when you choose to place your child for adoption, you will be able to see them grow up happy and healthy; and even have a relationship with them. Many birth mothers have a special relationship with their baby’s adoptive parents and their baby, and it’s beneficial for the emotional healing process after adoption. This is one of the adoption’s most significant emotional benefits for many women.
11. Adoption does not become permanent until you sign the Consent to Adoption after the baby’s birth. Until you sign, there is time to consider your options. When you decide on adoption, you will always have the chance to change your mind until you sign your legal consent after your baby’s birth. If you change your mind, that’s always ok.
12. Adoption allows mothers to meet, hold and get to know their babies. You may already feel an emotional connection to your baby, making the choice of adoption difficult. When you place your child for adoption, you can meet the baby you give birth to, spend as much time as you’d like in the hospital with them, and get to know who they are in anticipation of who they will become.
13. Adoption can be kept confidential if a woman does not want certain people in her life to know. Suppose you are considering options because you do not want people to know about your unplanned pregnancy. In that case, knowing you can undoubtedly have a secret adoption is important. If necessary, I can provide the resources needed to help you keep your adoption confidential.
14. Adoption is still possible if you have a complicated relationship with your baby’s father. It is not uncommon for pregnant women to choose based on their concern about the baby ending up with an unsupportive birth father. However, adoption may still be a possibility in this case. I encourage you to call or text me IN KANSAS: (785) 217-4603 to discuss your situation and options in more detail.
15. Adoption allows you to experience pregnancy. When you choose adoption, you will experience all the highs and lows of pregnancy. For some women, this is an experience they desire to have, especially if they have concerns about their ability to get pregnant again after this pregnancy.
16. When you inquire about adoption, you get accurate, objective information. Unfortunately, when you pursue abortion first, the abortion clinics may not provide objective and factual information. Because it is such a controversial topic, some professionals and even state legislatures have made it so pregnant women are given specific information before completing pregnancy termination – and not all of this information is factual or unbiased. However, when you ask me, I will provide objective information so you can make an educated decision about what is best for you.
17. Choosing adoption gives you 24/7 support through your emotional journey. Choosing adoption can give you access to trained counselors 24 hours a day. I will make sure you receive the counseling you need to decide whether adoption is right for you, during and even after the adoption is complete – entirely free.
18. You are in charge of the adoption process at every step. When you choose to place your child for adoption, you will always have the final say when it comes to different aspects of your adoption process. This includes choosing an adoptive family for your baby, deciding what kind of contact you want with them, determining your hospital stay, and more.
19. You can complete the adoption process anywhere in Kansas. I work with expectant mothers from all across the state. Whether you live in a big city, a small town, or the middle of the countryside, you can reach me whenever you need to and complete the adoption process whenever you are ready. Aside from your hospital stay and any in-person meetings you schedule with adoption service providers or the adoptive family you choose, most of the adoption process can be completed from your home (or wherever you’re most comfortable).
20. You can start the adoption process right away. No matter where you are in your pregnancy, if you contact me, I will help you begin the process as soon as you are ready. I will take your information, send you adoptive family profiles and help you move forward with the process as quickly as possible (you always have the chance to change your mind about your decision).